Whether you’re trying to get some mat time while on the road, or you’ve moved to a new city and want to take some classes at local academies before settling in somewhere, visiting new-to-you BJJ gyms can be a blast. You’ll be exposed to new teaching styles and perhaps new techniques, get to meet and train with a bunch of different folks, and probably leave feeling recharged. But this isn’t just about you having a great time—it’s also about leaving the academy better than you found it, so that you (and other visitors!) will be welcomed back.
 
As with all things in life, it’s easy to be unintentionally disrespectful when you just don’t know any better… you know, like that brand new guy at the Olylifting gym who’s always stepping over barbells, walking across platforms, or lifting while other people are lifting…or that younger kid whose phone is always buzzing, and who uses equipment without asking people if they’re done with it yet. Don’t be that guy.
 
And then there’s always the possibility of making poor decisions on gyms to visit, also because you just don’t know any better. Luckily, that can often be avoided as well with a bit of preparation.
 
BEFORE VISITING
 
Gather intel
 
It’s good manners to clear any gym visits with your current BJJ instructor, even if you’re hundreds of miles from home. If you’re hyper-independent, this can be a little off-putting. It’s your body, right? Why should you have to ask someone you’re paying for permission to visit gyms out of town?
 
Here’s one reason: martial arts and combat sports in general are full of drama and infighting and bullshit, and your instructor is privy to a lot of information they may not share with everyone. They may have very specific reasons for not wanting you to visit certain academies. Maybe a bunch of your teammates had bad experiences with the gym—wouldn’t you want to know about it so you don’t have to learn the hard way? Or maybe the gym is generally okay but there are a few things you need to be aware of before visiting. Or your coach might be close to the instructor and want to drop them a line before you’re in town, which can help you have a better experience.
 
This isn’t to say that there aren’t coaches who would object to anybody visiting any gym because they are insecure. I’d recommend switching gyms when possible if that’s your situation—skirting around their rules usually doesn’t end well for anybody.
 
Beyond getting the okay from whomever you’re training with, you’ll want to do some digging on your own. Talking to people who used to train at the gym or who train and live in the area, talking to current students, and looking for Yelp reviews (or even Reddit threads) are all good ways to get a better sense of what to expect, or give you reasons to avoid a particular gym altogether. Since the whole BJJ scene can be a bit political, a lot of times what people say one-on-one is very different from what they say publicly, so checking in with friends and instructors you trust is really important.
 
You’ll also want to check out the website of the academy you want to visit in order to see if there’s information you can glean from there as well.
 
Contact the gym ahead of time
 
Even if you have a friend at the gym who says you can just go with them to a particular class or open mat, you’ll still want to call or email the gym in advance. Not only do gym owners usually appreciate a heads up, they may have a modified schedule you’re unaware of, be able to direct you to the class they think would be the best fit for a visitor, or want to share specific information with you.
 
Plan to go to the class they tell you to go to, even if you think you’re more advanced. And when you make that initial phone call, see if you can find out if they have any rules you should know about. Usually they’re pretty standard (e.g. showing up on time, putting on shoes when stepping off the mat to use the restroom, basic hygiene, etc.) but sometimes there are gym-specific rules to be aware of. For example, a gym I trained at with not a lot of mat space for the amount of people that showed up were required all lower belts to essentially move out of the way when higher belts were rolling and a collision was likely to occur. It’s just good to know stuff like that ahead of time, so you’re not that asshole everyone has to tell to get out of the way incredulously since you can’t read minds…and so you can try to get someone higher-ranked to roll with you so everyone will have to move for you. (Some gyms also have weird rules about lower belts not asking black belts to roll, though, or instructors may want to partner everyone, so be aware of that as well.)
 
Plan ahead
 
Make sure you know where the gym is in relation to wherever you’re staying, so you can plan to leave ahead of time. If you’re visiting multiple academies while traveling, make sure to scope out laundromats near you ahead of time. (One time I messed this up and wound up at a Sports Authority buying a rash guard about 15 minutes before I had to be at the gym I was visiting, and accidentally bought a cold gear one…which sort of felt like wearing a hoodie under a gi and made for an awfully uncomfortable class, but probably would’ve been good for cutting weight. You know what they say about proper prior planning…don’t make my mistake.
 
DURING THE VISIT
 
Show up early
 
You’ve planned your transportation and your gear is ready to go, so there’s no reason not to be on time—but being on time is late, because you’ll probably need to fill out some kind of waiver, meet the instructors, hang out on the mat and warm up with everyone else so they recognize you when class starts, etc.
 
Bring water
 
I had a coach once who was anti-water. He told people if they didn’t ask for it they didn’t need it, and if they asked for it, they didn’t deserve it. Fortunately, most coaches are less psychotic, and most gyms have water fountains. But many gyms expect every student to bring their own water bottle, and it looks a little strange when there’s a water break and everyone runs over to get a sip and you’re just kind of hanging out. So stick a water bottle in your bag, just in case.
 
Dress appropriately
 
My very first gi was a purple one with a huge CatFight Gear patch on the back, because I’d started out in no-gi and my first exposure to gi jiu-jitsu was at Straight Blast Gym, where everybody has camo gis and neon gis and as many patches as they have tattoos. Probably my obnoxiously colorful gi was why everyone at my first gi gym gave me side-eye, even while telling me they really liked it. (Liars, the lot of them!)
 
Now I have a white travel gi with no patches that I take on the road, because some gyms get bent out of shape if you wear a patch representing another team…and some gyms have rules about colored gis, even the blue ones or black ones that are legal in competition. If you train at Alliance and are visiting another Alliance gym, an Alliance patch is probably okay (and same with Gracie Barra or any other school), and you can check with the school ahead of time, but even gyms that allow all manners of gis may have people secretly judging you when you show up looking like a banana or whatever. Also, the patches that are all the rage at your local gym may be completely unfamiliar to people in other regions, so they won’t know that it’s just a fundraiser patch for someone who was ill or whatnot.
 
Even if your local gym is cool with you just wearing a gi top with nothing under it (or just a sports bra for the ladies), some gyms think that’s gross and will expect you to wear a rashguard, so do that.
 
Hygiene recommendations should go without saying but I have personally seen gym visitors wearing stinky gis or not showering or something (or that winning combination of the two!), having unclipped nails and toenails, etc. etc. etc.
 
Pay the mat fee (or pay something)
 
Usually the mat fee is listed on the website but people often forget to collect in person, so be a good visitor and remind them that you want to pay the mat fee. If they refuse to let you, make sure to buy something (it doesn’t have to be the $250 team gi—just a t-shirt or something is fine). I have also left money on the counter (when I knew there was a mat fee but the gym was trying to waive it but I wanted to insist), or even written out $22 checks for my $2 sticker. Also, while traveling from Minnesota to Arizona I stocked up on 6-packs of Spotted Cow (a really amazing beer only available in Wisconsin) and left one of those at every gym I trained at along the way. (I asked for local beer recommendations first to make sure the instructors weren’t teetotalers.) I’m sure I’d be welcomed back with open arms to any of these gyms, and they’ll probably be nicer to other visitors because of me, too. Just be careful with branded gifts. One time I tried to give a BJJ instructor this really nice $30 Grapplearts poster (I had two) and he freaked out and yelled at me because the poster wasn’t affiliated with his team. So stick to cash or beer or whatever, and you should be fine.
 
Err on the side of not talking
 
When I’m just joining a gym, I usually try to avoid talking at all (other than asking questions) for the first month or so. That combined with regular attendance (e.g. going to every single class) can usually win over students who are maybe suspicious of new students (and yes, gender can sometimes come into play as well). But as a drop-in visitor, you don’t have the luxury of time. Err on the side of not talking. Especially, don’t coach other students, even if you outrank them. (Correcting an instructor is even worse.)
 
Pay attention to how people line up and any other unspoken rules. Make sure to listen closely to instructions. Put your best effort into weird warm-ups or techniques you’ve never done before. You don’t have to tell anyone about more effective variations you know, either.
 
Keep it playful
 
You wouldn’t crush people at your normal gym, so don’t do it while on the road. Conversely, some students may be wanting to test you, so make sure to tap early and often. If you’re on a road trip, it really sucks to try to drive a stick shift with a bad arm, and knee injuries can also make driving a bit more challenging, plus it’s hard to keep all the ice you’ll need frozen, so just pre-tap if needed. If you have a friend at the gym you’re visiting you can always ask them who not to train with and they’ll usually have a person or two to tell you to avoid.
 
Usually when there’s a new student, the instructor will go over all of the rules for sparring, but if you’re not sure what they are, make sure to ask! Some gyms don't allow kneebars or toeholds at all, and some do allow them but only at certain belt levels. If you don’t have a chance to ask for whatever reason, always err on the side of caution and don’t hurt your training partners.
 
As with any gym, a major faux pas is congratulating people who outrank you or telling them they did a good job after you train together. I’m not sure if the cringeworthiness of this applies to other sports, so here’s a peripherally related story: One time I was writing live play-by-play at some MMA fights, and another journalist sitting cageside told me my insights were “actually really good,” even though I was writing for one of the top 3 MMA sites in the world and he was writing for some local blog…so why was he so surprised? He thought he was giving me some huge compliment and I politely thanked him but really I just wanted to punch him in the face. It’s like telling your coach who’s been a black belt for 20 years that they have a good hip escape. Just don’t do it. (I did once point out that someone who outranked me tapped me about 20 times in a five-minute round, though, and I think that was okay.)
 
AFTER THE VISIT
 
Make sure to thank the instructors
 
I’m a big fan of sending follow-up emails or even notes to thank the instructors, and if the gym was amazing, I’ll also write about it on social media. Getting props from a visitor can be really meaningful for some instructors. Remember that many coach part-time or are actually losing money or breaking even from the BJJ part of their gym and supplementing it with cardio kickboxing or group fitness classes or whatnot…which means they do this for the love of the sport. 
 
Consider posting a review
 
Writing a review on Yelp or Facebook can really help gym owners with word-of-mouth advertising, and can help people looking for a new gym (or passing through) narrow down their choices. So if you had a great time or got a lot out of the class you attended, consider singing it from the rooftops.
 
VISITING NON-BJJ GYMS
 
BJJ is its own animal, but a lot of the concepts I’ve discussed apply to any new gym you’re visiting. Gym quality is extremely variable and contracts abound, so gathering intel before joining is always a smart idea. Contacting a gym for drop-in hours, etc. and finding out which class they’d recommend you to visit before dropping in while traveling is also smart. (Showing up early with appropriate water and gear--and good hygiene--goes without saying, as does paying the drop-in fee...) Sending thank-you notes and/or singing the praises of gyms and coaches that are amazing on Facebook and Yelp can really help gym owners with their business, and just feels really good to do. And I think most of us know better than to coach other athletes or correct a coach during a group training class… Basic courtesy and common sense and a modicum of good manners can really go a long way.