I have to start this article off by talking about myself before I can transition into talking about you and getting to the point.

A few weeks ago, I decided to start boxing. My weightlifting career is on a temporary hiatus right now because I’ve got a rotator cuff tear in my shoulder and it’s going to need surgical repair, which I’m going to wait until the summer to do (seven months from right now). The damage to my shoulder is interesting because the only things I can’t do are heavy O-lifts and bench presses. Aside from those, I’ve basically got normal function and almost no pain. So weightlifting is on the back burner for a while. I’ll come back and start competing again after the shoulder is fixed, but that’s probably a year away.

I decided to take this hiatus time and try something I’ve wanted to do since I was 10 years old…boxing. I grew up in a small town out in the middle of nowhere, so there was never any opportunity for me to get involved in the sport. And by the time I was 17, I had already been sucked into weightlifting full-time and it became my entire world for the last 25 years. All my other sports interests fell by the wayside as I started working my way up the ladder in lifting, which is the way it has to be if you want to take a shot at an Olympic Team. Now I’m 43, still lifting and competing, but not with the same maniac intensity as the old days. It’s a good time for me to play around and learn how to box, since I’ve never stopped wanting to do it throughout all these years.

This is where the interesting part of the conversation starts. I found a good boxing gym, walked in the door and talked to the guys who run the place, signed a membership, and got started training. After my first couple of sessions, it occurred to me that this is probably the first thing I’ve done in 20 years that I wasn’t in charge of. You see, I’ve been a teacher and coach for two decades now. That means I’ve been the boss all those years. Every class I’ve taught, every program I’ve run, every gym I’ve coached at, and every lifter I’ve trained…I’ve always been the one in the leadership role. And I’ve exclusively been working in fields where I was an experienced expert. Weightlifting is my life, so I know a lot about it and I’ve always been the one people come to for answers. As an English teacher (my actual full-time job), I’ve got a strong command of my curriculum and I run the show on a daily basis.

Coming into this boxing thing, I’m a complete newbie. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s unfamiliar territory for me. I’m not the one in charge. I’m the learner, relying on other people to teach me and guide me along. You might think I’m getting ready to say it’s uncomfortable for me to be in this role, that I have a hard time taking orders and being the rookie. And you would be wrong. I absolutely love it. It’s been one of the most fascinating processes I’ve been through in a very long time, because I’ve completely forgotten what it’s like to be new and clueless in something.

In this article, I want to share some of the things I’m learning these days. I’m not talking about boxing technique or anything specific to fighting. I’m talking about what I’m learning from being on the other side of the coaching process after all these years. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been reminded how my athletes feel when they come to me for training. I haven’t had anything that put me in their shoes for a long time. I’ve always been the leader, and they’ve always been the learners. Now, it’s flipped, and I’m getting a personal look at what my athletes go through when I’m coaching and guiding them.

Many of you are coaches. And as I always say, those of you who are just lifters right now should still read this because I guarantee somebody will ask you to coach if you stay in this sport long enough. As the coaches, it’s hugely helpful for us to see the whole weightlifting experience the way our athletes see it. We become better at our jobs when we have a heightened understanding of what’s going on in the minds of our people, so let’s take a look at what an old veteran coach is experiencing these days as a greenhorn beginner.

Intimidation

One of the first things you need to understand is the fear that goes along with the beginning stages of this. People will often be a little shaky when they walk into a weightlifting gym for the first time, and possibly even more so when they have their first conversation with the coach. I see this look on a lot of faces when potential athletes come to me and want to talk about joining my program.

It’s understandable. They’re thinking about getting involved in something pretty serious. If they’re complete newbies, they’ll walk into the gym with all kinds of nerves about their physical capability, whether or not they’ll be able to fit in with the established crowd, worry about screwing up, worry about getting hurt, etc.

Listen, I can personalize this one. When I walked into my new boxing gym for the first time, I was nervous as hell. Keep in mind, I’m 43 years old, 5’11, 260 pounds, and I can still squat around 600 lbs. and snatch close to 300 (when my shoulder is operational). In other words, I’m pretty stout and I don’t have to worry about being physically insecure anywhere I go. And I was STILL shaky when I walked in for the first time, for all the reasons I listed above.

As a coach, one of the best things you can do is make the rookies feel reassured when they talk to you about starting. Having a smile on your face takes care of 80 percent of it, to tell you the truth. As soon as the newbies know they’re on safe ground because you’re friendly and welcoming, the whole relationship is off to a good start. They’re already scared enough. They don’t need you doing your best Darth Vader act to make it worse.

Ask them directly about what their goals are and what they want to accomplish, and then let them do some talking. LISTEN to what they’re saying, and then talk about how they can fit in with your program. If it’s obvious they don’t fit in with your program, be honest about it. Don’t promise things you’re not going to be able to deliver on. That’s a recipe for disaster. Once they’ve been able to tell you exactly what they’re thinking, and you’ve told them exactly what you’ve got to say, and the whole conversation has been blended with positive attitude and enthusiasm, the groundwork has been laid in the right way.

Excitement

For many of your athletes, coming to the gym and training with you will be the best part of their day. They’ll spend all their time out of the gym thinking about it, looking forward to it, getting excited about it, etc. You’re the coach, so you don’t look at it the same way. If you’re a veteran coach and you’ve been in the game for years, sometimes there can be a tendency to develop a “just another day at the office” mentality about what you’re doing. For you, it’s your job. You like it, and you enjoy the people you’re with, but it’s still…a job.

For your athletes, it’s like their daily trip to the Holy Land. Once they get hooked and the excitement starts to really rise about what they’re doing, they’ll start thinking about it all the time. When they’re at home, they’ll be on YouTube looking at weightlifting videos. They’ll be reading articles. They’ll start networking with other lifters and expanding their exposure to the sport, because they’re nuts for it. It’s like the first couple of months with a new girlfriend or boyfriend. You’re walking around with your head in the clouds because you’re so nuts about what you’re doing.

If you’re the coach, it’s obvious what this means for you. It’s your job to make sure they all get the best possible experience every time they train with you. If you’ve got 15 people in a workout, make sure you get to all of them every time. Don’t let anybody walk out the door feeling like you didn’t even know (or care) that they were there. Even if you just give a quick few comments to one of your lifters, or ask how their day has been…you’re still making them feel like they’re on your radar, and you care about how they’re doing.

Skill Levels…

I’ve got one piece of advice for you in this department…be ready for anything. Some of the people who come to your gym might have the potential to be high-level competitors, but many of them will probably fit into three possible categories: A) mediocre athletes B) slightly above average athletes C) slightly below average athletes.

You need to value their work ethic much more than their talent level. Regardless of the physical ability they have, it’s your job to make them better. If you decide you’re only going to work with people who have the ability to win national championships, make sure you have a second job. You’re never going to have enough stud animals to pay your bills. Elite athletes are rare. That’s why they’re elite. If you want to go into coaching for a living, you have to keep the “for a living” part in the forefront of your mind. That means you need a lot of business, which means you have to work with anybody who wants to work with you.

Everybody wants to produce champions when they get into coaching. That’s fine, but it’s extremely important in this business that you value and work with all of your lifters, not just the ones that might get on the covers of magazines. Plus, you become a much better coach when you have to work with people who aren’t very talented. You develop the ability to fix anything.

Pain…

Aaaah, yes. Pain. We’re talking about weightlifting, so pain will be part of the game. Fortunately, I think most people understand that before they decide to join up. In my experience, new athletes come into the sport with the mentality that it’ll be rough, demanding, and challenging. Somewhere in the middle of all this, they come to a realization that it’s gonna hurt a little bit.

Rookies will usually be eager to work hard and impress the coach, which means they won’t want to complain and whine about sore wrists, shoulders, etc. They don’t want to look like babies, so they’ll tough it out. This is the way it should be, by the way. As a weightlifter with almost 30 years of experience myself, I can verify it. Part of your responsibility as an athlete is being mentally tough and not asking for a sit-down with your coach whenever your back gets tight.

As a coach, it’s a good rule of thumb to let the athletes come to you with their pain concerns. If you see them rubbing their joints between sets, just let it be. They’re going through normal weightlifting stuff. Obviously there’s an exception if you’re working with an athlete who’s clearly experiencing massive pain and won’t say anything about it. In these cases, you might need to intervene. But when athletes approach you with pain reports, be clear in your answers. If they’re going through normal training pain, go ahead and tell them that, along with a suggestion about how to handle it. If they’re potentially seriously injured, back them off from the lifts and start a conversation about where they can go to get checked out.

Try to keep the mentality…

It’s very difficult to maintain this ability as a coach…the ability to see the process through the eyes of the people you’re in charge of. As I mentioned in the beginning, it took a new venture into a completely new sport for me to really get a big reminder of it. Over the last month, I’ve experienced all the things I wrote about here. Nervousness, intimidation, excitement, new training pain, looking forward to hitting the gym with renewed gusto, all of it. Being a newbie is fun. Letting somebody else teach me is fun. Learning new skills is fun, and the feeling of being at the beginning of something great is wonderful.

Situations like my boxing foray are rare. Most of the time, coaches are so swamped with work and responsibility, it’s impossible to do anything that gives us a complete mental overhaul. However, I still think there’s a way for any one of us to maintain a certain perspective on our work. Look at your athletes as they go through the early stages of this game. Watch how they change. Listen to the things they say. Eavesdrop on their conversations to hear what they’re saying to each other. When an issue pops up with one of them, ask yourself what you were like when you were getting started. Remind yourself of the mistakes you made, and use those reminders as a tool for your relationships with your lifters. They’re probably much like you were when you got your start. If you think really hard, you can probably remember the things you said, did, and how you felt. When these memories stay fresh in your mind, it’s easier to know when to cut somebody some slack, push them, reassure them, straighten them out, and all the other things you have to do when you’re the leader of a program.

Above all, remember why they’re in your gym. They want to be there. They want to learn, and they want your help. They’re making a commitment to it, so your commitment needs to mirror theirs. You were in their shoes once, and somebody gave you the help you needed. Pay it forward. It’s the right thing to do.