It’s February, which is right around when most people have completely given up on their New Year’s resolutions. Often times their resolutions were too rigid to begin with—which is why ‘setting goals’ can be a more useful concept. With goals, it’s easier to stumble a bit and then get right back on track when you do. But with resolutions, the moment you don’t follow what you said you were going to is the moment you may want to call it quits completely.

We’ve all seen people give up lifestyle changes because something came up—the holidays, a particularly stressful life event, or simply a lack of time. The mindset is pretty similar to people who give up on diets completely after a night at the bar with old friends or a moment of weakness with a pint of Haagen-Dazs. I mean, they just completely blew their diet already, so what’s the point?

Surprisingly, most athletes don’t embrace that same mindset during games. Even if a team has completely blown their chance of winning a game, and that fact isn’t lost on them, they’re likely to keep working hard because losing by a landslide happens to suck more than at least putting up a good fight. And picking yourself back up after screwing up on your goals or resolutions or whatnot and getting back to it is a lot more important than whether or not you took a misstep. So how do you train yourself to move past wallowing in failure or giving up completely and closer to a resilient attitude where you’re moving towards your goals, even if not in a completely straight line? And what do you do when the obstacles in your way seem insurmountable?

Silver linings

Platitudes about being optimistic may be helpful for some people, but they can also be downright annoying. I mean, when something is seriously interrupting your ability to live the healthy lifestyle that you want, well-meaning advice from someone who doesn’t really understand is typically the opposite of helpful. Despite that, it can be worth looking at solutions to problems that may not be perfect, but will at least be a good start.

We all know that reducing stress can lead to increased well-being, but when you’re low on sleep and completely overwhelmed with whatever unpredictable catastrophe has come your way, it’s hard to get eight hours of sleep and take an Epsom salt bath and get your meditation in.

On one particularly challenging day, I remember realizing that driving was the least stressful thing I’d do that day. Because of traffic, the ride was sure to take 40 minutes longer than usual, and I decided to use that time to my benefit. I took some slow deep breathes, zoned out a bit (safely, of course), and decided to just observe traffic instead of cursing it and worrying about how long it’d take me to get to my destination. Relaxing-even if temporarily—is a choice. And it’s not just one you can practice with driving. Even something as banal as doing dishes can be a meditative experience if you let it.

There are multiple examples of unwanted experiences that have small windows of moments you can tap into in a positive way, even if it’s not to the same extent that you’d want to. Sometimes even reframing an otherwise negative experience can do the trick. Feeling like you’re starting from scratch at the gym after a long layoff or injury? It’s easy to focus on how far you have to go, but far more empowering to recognize that at least you know your gains will be quicker than ever.

Start With Just One Thing

So you can’t have the exact type of lifestyle you want to have because you’ve got huge obstacles in the way. Your job requires long hours at a desk, you travel too much to maintain the type of diet you want, you can’t afford to eat organic or get all of the supplements you need, you just don’t have time this week, etc. etc.

What is one thing you can do?

It sounds trite, but sometimes picking just one thing can make a huge difference. Buying a crockpot so you can have food ready when you get home after a long day. Finding foods rich in the minerals you’re looking for so you don’t have to rely on supplements. Making sure you’re at least staying hydrated. Avoiding pesticides only in the dirtiest foods rather than all of them. Doing a bodyweight workout at home or taking a brisk walk on the days you can’t get to the gym. Keep a stash of beef jerky in your car for those long unexpected drives you’ll need to take so you’ll be less likely to make bad nutrition decisions.

Just pick one thing to start with and go from there.

Overcoming obstacles

I’m thinking about a job I had where I worked 10-hour days and had an hour lunch break. I’d typically ride my bike to the gym, work out, quickly change out of my gym clothes and bike back to work, picking up a salad along the way. Since I had a customer-facing position, my boss was none too pleased that I’d be eating lunch from my desk after an hour-long lunch break. Since food was allowed, there wasn’t much she could do to stop me, so I dug in my heels. (I was young, okay?)

Looking back on it, I definitely think there were better ways I could’ve handled it. I could’ve spaced out my meals differently. Instead of walking back into the office with a huge bag from Bruegger’s and plopping my build-your-own salad on the front desk right after my lunch break, I could’ve bought my lunch before work and grabbed it from the fridge a few hours after my break was over. I could’ve snacked on the hard-boiled eggs and carrots on my ride back, or at least a bit more discretely at the front desk. This would’ve probably led to a better relationship with my boss, and a more satisfying work life.

It’s easy to rail against people who are stopping you from doing what you want to do, or feel like circumstances are insurmountable. Detaching yourself from it a bit can help you find other options, though.

Everything is temporary…

When you’re in a situation you don’t like, it’s easy to feel trapped in it and feel like there is no escape. But everything shifts and changes over time. Keeping an eye on your overarching goals (lifestyle, nutrition, fitness, sleep, you name it) while doing the best you can within the circumstance you find yourself in can help you be better poised for future success once things change. And if they don’t for a while? Something is still better than nothing.