I’ve written a lot of articles in these pages about how coaches can step up their game. That’s probably because I’ve had some terrible experiences with coaches who don’t have the same level of professionalism as the fine readers of this magazine. I don’t think all bad coaches are deliberately douchey, though. I think many are simply more focused on a small percentage of top performers, and some are simply replicating the douchey coaching style they ended up thriving in spite of (not because of). And of course some are completely oblivious, and some care very deeply but just haven’t quite mastered expressing this in a way that clients can understand.

But you can go blue in the face talking about all the poor coaching you’ve seen or been subjected to. At the end of the day, there’s really not all that much you can do about it, though. (The people who need help with their coaching would be the least likely to follow advice from a professional journal, let alone read it.) Finding a new coach is always an option, though in some small towns it’s not really a possibility. And sometimes discussing what’s going on with your coach can be helpful. But at the end of the day, the only thing you have ultimate control over is yourself.

So you’ve decided to stick things out with your coach. How do you make sure you’re squeezing every ounce out of your training sessions, instead of making it harder for them to do their job? If being more coachable is one of your New Year’s resolutions, here are a few suggestions to mull over. No matter how good your coach is, your training is a team effort, so it’s a worthy goal to help them help you.

1. Ask your more combative questions privately, if possible.

There’s always that one guy at a seminar or group class who decides to waste valuable coaching time by challenging the coach. Usually it’s an ego-driven pissing context where that guy will embarrass himself in front of a crowd. Don’t be that guy.

It’s true that every once in a while he’s right, though: there’s a brand new study the guy in charge is unaware of. But even if that is the case, the middle of a seminar or group training session or whatnot isn’t exactly the best time to disseminate and dissect research. This isn’t to say you should never ask questions and just smile and nod like good little boys and girls, just that launching into a tirade about why something is bullshit in front of a group probably won’t get the type of results you’re looking for.

2. Don’t take criticism personally.

There are, of course, times when coaches single out individuals to criticize their form in front of the class for reasons other than, you know, correcting their form… but that’s not what’s happening every time. Someone telling you that your foot position is off is probably not making a judgment on you as a person… so just try to learn from it.

3. Realize that it’s okay to slow down.

You’re going to a coach for a reason, right? Tapping into their expertise so they can guide you, and help you correct patterns you may not even be seeing? That means that you need to trust their judgment and sometimes do regressive work even if you don’t think it’s necessary, and even if it sucks. They may notice something that you’re not aware of, or have a different reason for wanting you to go over the basics or slow down to work on your form. Probably you’ll realize it was a good idea a few months from now, so suck it up.

4. Take risks.

Trying stuff you think you can’t do can help you get past training blocks. Even if the way you’re training isn’t want you’re used to, learning to adapt is invaluable. Next time your coach asks you to do something crazy, try it out, and give her the opportunity to guide you through it.

5. Focus on your own progress.

Do what you say you’re going to do at home, whether that’s those PT exercises or some additional practice your coach recommended. And take charge of your own training by keeping track of your goals, rather than expecting your coach to do everything or you. They are busy with a whole gym full of people… and it’s your life, right?

6. Pick your battles.

You really don’t want to do lunges right now because you’re recovering from a knee injury, and it hurts. That’s legit. You hate the warm-up and think it sucks and want to skip it. Probably not legit. Make sure to save your complaints or concerns for when it counts.

7. Have fun!

It’s difficult to draw hard and fast rules here, since each gym is so different and so is each athlete. Some people excel with friendly in-gym competition, and like joking around in the gym and having a sense of humor. Other people do better keeping to themselves a bit more, and keeping things more serious. But no matter what your gym vibe or personal temperament is, trying to enjoy your training can make things so much easier for everyone. And if you’re not having fun, what’s the point?

Your turn

As a coach, what do you look for in an athlete that makes them more coachable? Or as an athlete, what have you let go of that you realized helped you stop stymying your own growth? Feel free to share in the comments—or at least spend some time reflecting.