Don’t you just love how dependent we are on the internet? It’s a little pathetic, isn’t it? We literally can’t live without it. I’m an old school guy, so I guess I should have a condemning attitude about it…griping about how my grandpappy didn’t need no damn internet to fight those greasy krauts in WWII, so that makes us a bunch of commie scumbags because we live on it.

But I can’t think like that. The internet is what brought us together, brothers and sisters. This magazine you’re reading is an online publication, so that means the internet is the only thing allowing you to drink in the words that flow from my juicy fingertips like sweet maple syrup. Obviously, that means there are some good things about it. That brings us to Facebook, which has replaced actual human friends for many of us. I was reading a post on Facebook tonight from a guy named Nick Ruscoe who reads a lot of our Catalyst stuff. He asked a damn good question, and I told him in the comments that I was going to write an article about it. So, you see how great the internet is? I read something that got me thinking, and now I’m going to get you thinking. I wouldn’t be surprised if this article changes your whole life, or at least eases the pain of your hemorrhoids.

Nick asked, “Dear Coaches (of all kinds) - A question for you: Do you think it is outside the scope of what you do to develop the personal character of those you train for fitness or sport (or music/education/military)?”

I told you it was a good question. We’re talking about whether it’s job of the coach to teach personal character to athletes. This one got my mind working immediately, and I guess that means I’ve got some strong feelings about it. You probably do too. Many of you are coaches. Those of you who are athletes only right now will probably become coaches eventually. I don’t think it’s possible to stay in this sport for a decent length of time without somebody asking you to help them with it. If you’re a solid person with some interpersonal skills, you might find you’re a good coach. That will lead to more people asking you for help. Before you know it, you’ll have a team of people who identify you as their leader.

They came to you because they wanted to become better athletes. Whether they’re full-time weightlifters, CrossFitters, or whatever, they wanted you to show them some tricks that would help them snatch more, run faster, etc. Once you started doing this, it didn’t take you long to figure out that what you’re doing with these people is about a hell of a lot more than just technique and programming. You’re sharing a part of your life with them. Because you’re in a position of some authority and expertise, your words and opinions go a long way. At some point, the time you spend with them branches out beyond training and competing.

So…is it your job to teach personal character to these people? Friends, Nick asked a tremendous question there. I want to write about it, because I personally think there’s a huge answer somewhere. I’m also going to put some of my personal opinions out there. Hey, that’s what you do as a coach sometimes. The people you work with want your input and ideas, and your true feelings are going to color all of it. Obviously, we can’t answer the question until we have an understanding of what “character” is.

There are no laws, no rules, and nothing matters…

I was reading an article about drugs a few weeks ago. It was a pro-steroid article, written by a steroid user guru guy, and he was making a lot of forceful points about how steroids are great, wonderful, everybody should be taking them, etc.

One of the passages I remember is when he briefly mentioned the notions of cheating, fair play, may-the-best-man-win, that kind of thing. He obviously knew a lot of people see steroids and performance-enhancing drugs as a moral/ethical issue, so he confronted it outright. I don’t have the article right in front of me and I’m not quoting the guy, but he had a pretty elaborate ramble about how the notions of fair play and sportsmanship are antiquated concepts that people teach to children, and they have no more relevance to our lives than the stories of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Again, this is just from my memory. If anybody matches my words against the actual article, there will be discrepancies. But I’m pretty sure I got the overall gist correct.

That message probably goes against the things a lot of you believe about personal character. One of the reasons why steroids and performance-enhancing drugs are so controversial is precisely because they have a moral and ethical component to them. This is why they’re such good fodder for reporters. We all know about Marion Jones, right? She was one of the most successful Olympic athletes of all time. Multiple gold medals in track and field, world championships, and a career that captured the awe of the whole world. People speculated that she was a drug user when she was in her prime, but she always denied it and she passed every drug test they ever gave her. Then, years later, evidence was produced that proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was a drug user. She got sentenced to prison time and she got to make one of those wonderful press conference confessions with tears in her eyes, where she admitted her actions and apologized to everybody.

Just follow me for a second, brothers and sisters. Do you want to know why this was such a huge story that the whole world zoomed in on? It’s because this situation was about personal character, at the highest levels. What people were so fixated on was the dishonesty, cheating, and lying involved. Nobody was watching the Marion Jones saga because they were interested in how the drugs physiologically impacted her muscles. It wasn’t a scientific fascination. It was a moral fascination. We were consumed with the question of Marion’s character.

This is why I know character is important. It matters to people. I don’t have to give a lengthy explanation of what it is, either. Unless you were raised by wolves in another dimension of time where human interaction wasn’t a part of the universe, you already freaking know what personal character is. It’s the big lexicon of honesty, fairness, work ethic, attitude, loyalty, and generally doing the right things in life that are going to contribute to the world and the lives of others in a positive way. It means you don’t cheat, lie, and betray people the way Marion Jones did.

The guy who wrote the steroid article said these principles of character are basically fairy tales we tell kids. They’re the things Sunday School teachers preach about to get children to avoid stealing, lying, and beating up mentally handicapped people. According to what he said, this personal character stuff isn’t applicable to adults. Apparently, life becomes a free-for-all of greed, selfishness, lawlessness, and slitting your mother’s throat to win a state weightlifting championship once you pass through adolescence.

I’m obviously being sarcastic, and you can see where I’m going with this. I think personal character matters at all levels. I’ve known a lot of really successful people in my life. World champion athletes obviously, but also people who have been highly successful in business, the arts, etc. Big-time people, know what I mean? Do these people break rules sometimes? Sure. Do they always do right by others? No. But I can tell you with a straight face that the vast majority of the great people I’ve known have had a lot of personal character. To make a long story short, I think it’s very important. If you disagree and your feelings are more in line with the steroid article guy, then we have a clear difference of opinion. You might never change your mind and agree with me, and I can absolutely damn guarantee I’m never going to change my mind and agree with you.

So…should coaches teach it?

Well, there are a few angles you need to keep in mind when you answer that question. Let me give you a little personal info that clarifies this. I’m a high school teacher and coach, as some of you know. I’m responsible for educating and leading kids in their teenage years, when they’re on the threshold of becoming adults. Instilling personal character in them is a directly-stated part of my job. I can sit them down at the end of a practice and spend ten minutes teaching them a lesson about responsibility, honesty, and hard work. Not only is it appropriate for me to do this, it’s basically expected. I like this part of the job, and I take it seriously. We’ve got a lot of young people running around our world who obviously weren’t taught how to act right, know what I mean? They’re the ones you see in the streets that make you shake your head in disgust and say, “Somebody should kick that kid right in the ass.” I like the idea of using my job to reduce the number of these little morons.

However, many of you work with grown adults. These people aren’t kids anymore, and they don’t want to be treated as such. In addition to this, they’re paying you for a service. They probably want to become superior athletes, so they give you money to train them and make them better.

Is it your place to teach them about personal character? Yes, I think it is. But it has to be done much differently than I do it with young kids. I don’t think sitting a group of adults down in a circle and leading them through a lesson about telling the truth is a good idea. It seems like that would be pretty awkward. However, there are different ways to get the job done. First of all, you have to remember the old fact that actions speak much louder than words. The way you act with your clients speaks volumes about your own character. If you’re negative and mean, that reflects on your personality. If you badmouth other clients behind their backs, same deal. If you do things that show the people you work with that you’re sleazy, dishonest, disrespectful or negative, then some learning has taken place. They’ve learned that you’re a person of low character, and I can just about promise you they’ll look for someplace else to be.

Equally, they’ll also learn some great constructive lessons about character if they see the right things from you. Trust me, everything you do and say as a coach is under the microscope. They’ll remember your words and actions, even if you don’t think they’re a big deal. But the great thing is that if the things you say and do are enthusiastic, honest, positive and rooted in hard work and discipline, those things will be contagious. I’m a big fan of the word “contagious” when talking about gym atmosphere and team attitude. Good character rubs off on people. It’s easy to see when you visit a gym that has a lot of it. People like being there, and they want good things for the whole group.

That stuff starts from the top, brothers and sisters. Attitude is a reflection of leadership. I think I heard that in a movie once. So I absolutely think you, as a coach, have a responsibility to teach personal character to the people you lead. If they’re young kids, you can sit them down and teach them like it’s a classroom. If they’re adults, you should probably be more subtle about it. The lesson will be you…who you are and what you are.

It’s also about what you don’t put up with…

The last part of this analysis is the idea that you can teach people about character through the things you don’t allow. For example, let’s say you have a gym full of people who have been with you for a long time. It’s a good bunch, and there’s a lot of mutual trust and support built up.

Then, let’s say a new member joins the club. This person is a troublemaker. Regardless of how they manifest it, they’re doing and saying things that drag down the whole group and contaminate the positive atmosphere you’ve built. At this point, one of the best ways you can teach your people about character is by NOT allowing this troublemaker to screw things up. You have to handle it professionally and appropriately, obviously. You don’t want to hit this jerkoff with a baseball bat, even though that might be a lot of fun. But one way or another, your people need to see you take care of this delinquent. Once you’ve fixed it and removed the problematic behavior, your people will have learned a lesson about one of the most important pillars of personal character…loyalty. You were loyal to them by not allowing anybody to destroy the team. You protected them, in other words. If you don’t think this is a lesson about character, then you don’t know what the hell is going on.

I suppose some of you come from a much higher plane of intellectual activity than me, you know? You’re nihilists, anarchists, objectivists, existentialists, etc. You don’t believe in rules, morals, ethics, laws, personal character, or any form of loyalty to others. If that’s the case, you probably don’t buy anything I just said. And that’s fine, I guess. You can live your life according to those principles, but you probably won’t be a good coach. Those belief systems I just mentioned are mostly for loners and individualists. They aren’t for leaders, unless your idea of leading is getting a bunch of people to follow you into the jungle and drink poisoned Kool Aid. If that’s your definition of leadership, you’ve got much bigger problems than disagreeing with a Performance Menu article.

If you’re a coach, you need to listen to me because I’ve been a coach for a very long time and I’m good at it. The things I’ve said are true. Personal character is a very real thing. It’s not a fairy tale. You can see it right in front of your face every day, and you know when it’s missing. Make sure the people you coach don’t think it’s missing from you.