I don’t know about you, but I have fairly consistently come across “that guy” (or gal) at a few gyms; the one who gets pissed off when his or lifts don’t go well that day. These people often become outwardly angry and can be seen huffing, puffing, growling, and occasionally throwing shit (no exaggeration from what I’ve seen). And no, I’m not talking about when lifters let out one of those barbaric yells before taking a lift – you and your hype crowd are more than welcome to do what you need to do to get psyched before a lift. What I am talking about are those guys and gals who make it uncomfortable for the rest of us when they start to throw their hissy fits.

Consider What Anger Does to You

I know I’m guilty of getting angry sometimes when I lift. I get it! It can be so incredibly frustrating when you’re trying very hard to make a lift, yet the universe just seems entirely against you. Anger is a natural response. But when that anger is unable to be contained, that is when it becomes problematic and unhealthy.

Healthy anger is when you’re able to recognize in the moment that you’re angry. You’re able to reflect on what it is making you angry, feel a sense of control in terms of not allowing it to overtake you, and are able to direct it into a more productive behavior. You’re also able to recognize how your anger might be impacting others and you choose to make appropriate changes, or you communicate your problem effectively with others. When your anger reaches the point where you are unable to do the above, you’ve likely reached an unhealthy level of anger.

Sometimes people think that getting angry will motivate them to tackle their workout. Sure, that can actually be true. Anger can be a motivating force. But when you’ve reached the point of being pissed off, your performance is only going to tank, not improve. That’s because (as you may remember from previous articles of mine), our mood directly impacts our physical ability. Therefore, cursing out the weights and making a scene is NOT going to improve your odds of making the lift.

The Impact on Others

Not only is anger not going to help your lifts, it’s also not going to improve the odds that other gym goers are going to want to be around you. You know how yawns are contagious? So is anger. When we are angry, it can directly impact those around us by creating negative feelings within them as well. So if you are visibly angry during your workout, there’s a good chance you’re upsetting those around you, which (as discussed above) could very well be negatively impacting their gym performance too. In addition, they could be feeling scared of and intimated by you, which never makes for a good gym environment.

What to Do About Your Anger

Anger can be beneficial when harnessed correctly, but if you’re starting to think that you might be one of the excessively angry members your gym, it might be time to start thinking about a change. The Association for Applied Sports Psychology makes some great suggestions:

1)     Ask yourself what is make making you mad. Oftentimes, you may realize that it’s not just that day’s workout that is frustrating you, it’s the accumulation of other stressors too. Bringing awareness to why you are mad helps you to redirect your anger into something healthy.

2)     Understand how you typically handle anger. Become aware of the warning signs that tell you that you are starting to ramp up. Anger doesn’t typically go from zero to chucking a barbell across the room – usually there are many more subtle warning signs before reaching that point. Maybe you start to grind your teeth. Maybe you start to clench your firsts. Maybe you start to stamp your feet a little. Becoming aware of these red flags allows you to prevent a full-blown temper tantrum.

3)     Start thinking outside the box and identify some possible substitute behaviors. For example, when you start to notice one of those warning signs, let that be your cue that now is the time to take a quick, mindful walk outside for some fresh air or to practice some deep breathing. Shake up your typical anger routine with new, healthy behaviors!

4)     Finally, come up with a few positive affirmations to say to yourself. When you’re angry, start to repeat those! Because if you remember from my past articles, the way you think directly impacts how you feel. So if you can start to reframe your mindset, you’re likely going to shift your mood, which should also have a positive impact on your lifting.

What to Do When A Member Is Ruining Your Experience

I’ve been to a few gyms where I’ve been told, “Oh, that’s just how he [or she] gets.” Don’t let anyone tell you that angry behavior is something you need to just let happen around you! Angry people are going to influence your performance. I mean, if you’re okay with your workout being negatively impacted, then ignore me and keep hanging out when those members become The Hulk. Otherwise, I would strongly recommend speaking up to the gym owner and emphasizing the benefits of a motivating, supportive gym environment.

If you are the gym owner, and one of your members keeps turning into The Hulk, sounds like it might be time for a little heart-to-heart. That might not be an easy conversation to initiate, but remember this: encouraging them to control their anger will be beneficial for them and the other members! (You could always just hand them this article, if that makes it easier…)