Happy New Year! It’s January and you may be taking stock of what went well in 2019 and what opportunities you have for improvement in 2020. This may be accompanied by a list of resolutions or habits you plan to adopt, which always seems like a prudent thing to do, but statistically speaking, by the end of January you’ll be trucking along, doing the same things you’ve always done, and moving forward as fast as a snail on a treadmill.
 
Habit change is often sold to us as a good idea: change one thing at a time, keep it simple and easy, build success, then add something new to work on. Cool. Until one day, when your dog breaks a tooth and then you get a flat tire on your way to the vet, and while you’re stuck changing the tire your boss calls and tells you your position has been eliminated due to budget constraints. Because when other parts of life go to shit, all of those new awesome habits go out the window and you’re back at square one, doing whatever worked to survive up until now.
 
I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t I just call a tow truck instead of changing the stupid tire?
 
Here’s the thing: habit change is HARD. I know that in the first couple of weeks in January it seems like anything’s possible; there’s this beautiful clean new slate to write on and you can make anything happen, including changing how you live from day to day. BUT, the fatal flaw in that plan is that things have worked for you pretty well up until now. Life may not be moving forward as fast as you’d like; maybe you have a few pounds you’d like to lose, maybe you want to make better decisions with your money, maybe you want to find a mate, but you’re pretty comfortable with the default settings and change takes effort. So when things fall apart elsewhere in life (which is inevitable), the natural reaction is to return to the default setting.
 
But don’t worry! Changing how you live is not impossible and I’ve got your back. It comes down to one question: WHO ARE YOU?
 
For example, maybe you work out and lead a relatively healthy life (which you probably do if you’re here reading this article), but you just can’t shake that extra 20lbs you’ve been lugging around since your kids were little. You’re a grown-up, you’ve got kids in school and a job and volunteer commitments and a partner, and while you do your best, time is short and life is tiring. It’s easy to push your athletic goals to the back burner because everyone else needs you.
 
Relatable, right? But who are you right now? Are you the tired mom or dad that puts everyone else first and just can’t quite get it together because there aren’t enough hours in the day? Or are you that parent who inspires those around you with your discipline—a hard-ass athlete who makes sure they get to the gym early in the morning, and who takes a few extra minutes every night to plan their food for the next day? Who makes their own health and happiness a priority because they know that they can’t look after others and be a good example unless they look after themselves? Who everyone else looks at and wonders how they do ALL THAT?
 
Another question to ask yourself is, what will you be giving up by being that person? This is maybe the more important question, because you need to force yourself to think about WHY your default settings are the way they are...and the answer may surprise you. It’s way easier to maintain the status quo than change how you live. It’s easy to come home after work and crack open a beer and put your feet up. It’s easy to tell yourself you don’t have time to work out because you’re driving your kids to their stuff, or there’s too much work to do, or whatever.
 
It’s also easy to get on social media and lay out all about your New Year’s resolutions, habit changing projects, and goals for the new year. But by doing that you just announced to yourself—and the internet—that you’re someone who struggles with stuff. Don’t accept that, don’t validate it, don’t even acknowledge it. If you do, you sabotage all of your best efforts without even realizing it by giving yourself a get-out-of-jail-free card.
 
So, no more habits, resolutions, or compromises. No more wanting or dreaming or wishing things were different. That stuff just leads to negative-Nelly thinking where you’re focused on what you can’t do/have/eat/whatever (which, as we all know, just makes us want it more - right?) One great thing about the re-framing process is that you are ADDING the positive behaviors in at the very top of the priority list without regard to what’s getting bumped off the bottom. For example, if you go train first thing in the morning, you’re going to be more tired at the end of the day so you just might have to go to sleep sooner...but you didn’t need to spend that 45 minutes mindlessly scrolling through Instagram to unwind at the end of the day anyway; it wasn’t serving you.
 
The other really amazing thing about redefining yourself is this: you don’t have to spend another single second wondering if you can do it. If you can make it up that big-ass hill, that is habit change. If you’re worth the effort. Getting rid of all of those thoughts and replacing them with “I’m an athlete/superhero/dragon warrior RIGHT NOW” is wonderfully liberating and frees up a lot of mental real estate that you can use to, oh, plan your meals for tomorrow.
 
If you slip up and don’t get it done one day, that happens to everyone—even the dragon warriors among us. But what do the dragon warriors do when that happens? Do they think, “oh, screw it; it’s Thursday—I’ll start again Monday”? You can bet your nun chucks they don’t—they take the next positive step because that’s who they are.
 
So, readers, here is your challenge: imagine for a second that you are the most awesome version of yourself. Do you have a clear idea in your head? Hang onto that image for a minute here and let’s go a little deeper: how does that person live? What does their schedule look like? How do they interact with the world? What are their priorities? Remember, that person is still you so you know them pretty well. Is that best version of you an athlete? What does that athlete version of you do differently? Prioritize rest? Not let anything get in the way of training? Eat more protein? If you really want to be an athlete, you have to BE an athlete. And athletes train. They eat well and make sure they get adequate rest so that their performance is optimal.

Now, go be that awesome version of yourself.